“Like I said,
Ogechi continued; I kept cool and hid my fears and suspicions. I had
been doing that all my life until it became part of me. So when he asked
if I wanted him to help me relax, I simply replied him with two words;
LET’S PRAY. Again, he joined me in prayers without argument or
hesitation. After we prayed, for some reason I had peace within me and
believed he wasn’t the kind of guy who would do what I suspected he
would do. So I slept off after handing over myself into the hands of
God.
Next day I
discovered he didn’t have a place to stay and invited over to my house
to stay with me. I know you’ll be wondering how I could have done such a
thing. I wondered so myself back then. He turned out to be a good
acquaintance and I became very fond of him. He was supposed to stay with
me for a period of two months but would have ended up staying with me
forever if my brother had not called in to say he was coming over to my
house. I guess I didn’t want him to go anymore; neither did he want to
go. But before then, things happened.
Initially I
tried to starve his eyes of some sight that could awaken the hulk in
him. But I soon got tired of that and lived freely with him as though he
was a girl. Many times I caught him admiring my body extravagantly when
I got careless with the adjustment of my clothes, but he would sit back
as though such sight had no impact on him. I thought it was because of
his promise to be of good behavior while in my house, but when two full
months passed without any advances from him despite my unintentional
exposure of some sensitive parts of my body, I got worried. In fact, I
felt bad. I know there are men who can control themselves but not this
much. He made it seem like he was living with a man in the house and
that tempered with my self-esteem. Not that I had some desires I needed
him to gratify, but I had expected that as a guy living with a girl, he
would lose control of himself one day, not because he was lustful, but
because his eyes had seen too much of my body than he could resist, then
I would call him to order. And if calling him to order was
unsuccessful, well I didn’t really think about that. I just believed I
could do so whenever the pressure was too much for him to handle. I
wouldn’t have been disappointed at him if he did, because he had already
proven himself to be a respectable guy. So if he ended up making such
advances towards me, it would only be a natural reaction. And I would
have stopped him. So I believed.
But when I
wasn’t getting that from him or even getting a sign that such might
occur soon, I felt so bad about myself. I started thinking that my
charms weren’t strong enough to woo this guy. Note: It wasn’t my plan to
woo or seduce him. I only expected that he would one day lust after me,
and want to have his way with me since he was beholding my body every
day. Instead of curiosity consuming him, he always sat still and stared.
I know some thoughts were definitely running through him mind, just
that he wasn’t acting. I wonder how he managed to do that.
When he
finally moved into his apartment after nearly four months of staying
with me, I went with him so we could spend some time together before I
returned home. At that point, I had already developed feelings for him.
He also had developed feelings for me but hadn’t spilled out the words
yet, but I knew. There was a heavy down pour that night that I couldn’t
make it home again. Spending the night with him wasn’t something to be
afraid of, neither was my mood of dressing something to be careful about
when with this guy because it never got to him. After all, he’ll just
sit still and stare without making a move. The most he would do is rain
complements on me until my ear had its fill of complements. I took off
everything I had on me and got a T-shirt from him to cover my body
without any under wears. I then lay carelessly as usual on the bed as I
flipped through the music library of his laptop for songs to cheer me up
when suddenly he burst out of the bathroom with hot red burning lust in
his eyes while his body vibrated. “BINGO!” I said in my heart. I
thought you were not a man.” Why did it take you this long to lose it?” I
asked in my heart. Or was he trying to be respectful by not making and
advances towards me while in my house?”
I had been
expecting that the day would come when he’ll want to feel my warmth, and
had planned to forbid him when that day came. Finally, the day came and
I just lay on that bed not knowing if I wanted to stop him or actually
wanted him to go ahead. The more time I wasted trying to figure out what
I wanted, the closer he got to making it happen. My mind went blank, my
heartbeat accelerated, and I got really soft. All I could do was lay
back helplessly on the bed without making any objections or giving a go
ahead. What good could objections do at that point? Apparently, they guy
had lost it and wasn’t going to try to hold it back. I, on the other
hand was exceedingly happy because he finally fell for my charms, but I
wasn’t sure if I really wanted him to go ahead with what he was set to
do. I just couldn’t stop him like I thought I would. I guess I shouldn’t
have driven him that crazy.
But then, I
was amazed at the outcome of things. As he was bending downward to lie
on me, he suddenly retreated and lay beside me on the bed. I was
confused. Then everything about him that was out of place gradually
returned and he was normal again. He changed his mind. He wasn’t going
to go through with it again. I was somewhat happy that he stopped
himself. How ironic? When I couldn’t stop him, he stopped himself. But
why? I asked in my heart. Was it something ugly about me he saw or
observed? How was he able to climb that high and return without a single
sweat? Then it dawned on me that he had resisted me again. He
definitely did! I was dumbfounded. All I could say was; “I’m proud of
you” though I was disappointed. At that point, my regard for him tripled
up. But I wasn’t going to give him any more chances to resist me. If he
actually got to that point and could still hold himself back, he was
definitely going to do it over and over again if I gave him chances to.
I left his
house the next morning pretending to be alright. I was definitely sad
about the whole thing. A pretty girl feels so good knowing that the guys
are falling for her charms even though she’s not interested in any of
them. But when it seems there’s some guy somewhere who’s not falling for
her charms, it makes her wonder why. Sometimes, she might even begin to
think there’s something about her that isn’t in place. Those of you
ladies can bear me witness to that. That was exactly the way he made me
feel. Even though I wasn’t ready to let him have me just yet, I wasn’t
also ready to be resisted by him, so I stopped seeing him. I couldn’t
believe myself. I had found the exact kind of guy I always desired. But
then, I stopped us from seeing each other for two reasons; Firstly, I
didn’t want to be resisted by him anymore. Secondly, I couldn’t resist
him anymore. If I had continued our usual visits and time alone
together, soon enough, I would have ended up being the one to suggest
the idea of commitment and union, the very thing I had kept myself from
doing right from the day he moved into my house. I had always been a
decent girl and wasn’t going to let that go. It appeared he also wasn’t
ready to be anything less than his name depicts. In case you’re
wondering what his name is, he calls himself Jesusboy. And he says he
doesn’t do so for fun. The good thing about him was that he had mastered
his body and could starve it of its lustful cravings, but I couldn’t
say the same about myself. So the best way out was distance, at least
for a little while until I got a hold of myself again. Nevertheless, I
loved him. In fact, that was when my love for him was sealed. He didn’t
know that. He thought I was angry with him and didn’t want anything to
do with him anymore.
Jeez! I
couldn’t believe my ears after I heard Ogechi confess all that. So that
was why she stopped me from seeing her? I asked myself in bewilderment.
And all the while I thought she was disappointed at me because of my
actions that night. After she narrated the things that went on between
her and me, I got to know her hidden feelings and fears which I had no
knowledge of before now. I bet she wouldn’t have voiced them out if she
knew I was there. “I NEVER KNEW, I NEVER THOUGHT, I NEVER SUSPECTED THAT
OGECHI EVER MADE ANY EFFORT TO RESIST MY CHARMS. ALL THE WHILE, IT WAS
ALWAYS LIKE SHE NEVER FELT THAT WAY TOWARDS ME. BUT SHE DID, EVEN MORE
THAN I DID TOWARDS HER. HOW COULD SHE HAVE HIDDEN IT TO A POINT WHERE
EVEN I, WITH MY PSHYCOLOGICAL KNOWHOW COULDN’T COMPRHEND? THAT QUESTION
HAS REMAINED UNANSWERED TO THIS VERY DAY”
To be continued.
